You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Evolution’ category.

Trojan’s latest ad campaign has now blinked me into an epileptic fantod, but, in the few seconds before the storm, I managed to realize the stupidity of their new slogan. It reads:

“Evolve One; Evolve All: Use a Condom Every Time”

It’s just damn contradictory, especially out of context. It reminds me of an episode of Friends I watched once where Ross and Rachel are in one room having one of their epic arguments, and the rest of the gang are trapped in a bedroom with no windows. Joey, sensing apocalypse, has prepared by stashing a gigantic box of condoms beneath the bed—”in case we need to repopulate the world,” says he.

Chandler turns to him: “And how would condoms help us re-pro-duce?”

Trojan’s website is cluttered with articles about The Sexual Health Crisis in America. If America has a crisis, what did Uganda have? 

Look, I’m safe, I use them. But every time? Surely you jest, Trojan Man. I don’t know what anyone would have to gain from using a condom every time, except maybe a raw penis trapped inside a shallow grave. That’s no way to live!

About the other crisis in America: I was smart (I guess, maybe “lucky” is more appropriate) and cashed in my chips at the stock exchange, and I don’t have a loan, I don’t pay rent (yet am not living with parents) on a rinky-dink parochial school salary… gas is relatively low, and I’m not getting my head blown off in Iraq.

Advertisements